Having anxiety doesn't lend itself to embarrassing moments. Instead of saying fuck it and moving on, our mind decides to let the memories stay and linger. Replaying themselves again. And again. And again until we start to go a little crazy.
Today has been that day. First there was the answer that I couldn't give in class. Then the fact that I accidentally fell into a couple of people on the tube. At rush hour.
There have been some good things. I met Hank Green and didn't make a complete fool of myself and this was because a nice guy from Waterstones gave me the correct raffle ticket. (THANK YOU!) I mean I look terrified in the pictures but still...
Anyway back to these embarrassing moments. I know and my head knows that I should forget them. That the moment should become a distant memory that I laugh about but instead I hear the echoes of laughter and shock and embarrassment plaguing my existence. My waking thoughts.
I want their to a day. A good day where I can brush these moments. Laugh at them and get on with my day but I can't. Sometimes I can. On the good days I can. But this is an OK day and I am just trying to get through the OK day.
One day I will be better but today I am me. An anxious person just trying to get a little better.
See you soon,