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Unprecedented Times

I feel so selfish.

We live in unprecedented times. I don't know how many times I have heard that in the last couple of days. In my head and flicking through social media trying to find a purpose. It's never-ending and I do it because it gives me something.

Because I need it. I need to do something else because if I have time to think: I worry. 

It has affected me but in a small way. No one in my immediate family has had it although I do know someone, a distant relative, who has died which is why I feel so selfish.

People are dying and I am worried about me.

I feel so stupid to say but I am.

It sucks but I am.

You see while we have been curled up in our rooms and houses for a week my education continues. I'm still at University and by September I am still expected to hand in a dissertation.

A dissertation that I can't finish because everything is closed.

I have an essay due in at the beginning of May and I can't complete it properly because my university's closed and so is the library. I have limited books and fewer supplies. But I make do. 

I can't currently work which is a silver lining I guess because I can finally complete an essay without having to work, a small luxury I haven't been able to do in a year.

But all of this feels well shit because as I will say again people are dying every single day of this disease and I am worried about if my degree is going to be OK.

Again stupid. So stupid.

I think this is just so weird though because we all had planned this year: holidays, events, parties and this can change just like that. After last year I was thinking about the unexpected but I don't think that anyone thought that it would be this. Even after seeing the first case at the end of December, I couldn't have predicted this. 

We are living through times that are unpredictable and unprecedented and that's hard for someone who likes control.

But we have to make do. Do our best. Protect those who will save us. Protect the most vulnerable. 

I commend the key workers who are saving so many lives every day and our putting themselves in harm's way to protect others and keep them fed and healthy. That deserves the world right now.

But all of those at home have to stay together. Stay home. Stay safe. Wash our hands and do our best to look after ourselves and others.

Because this is what we can do.

As a human race, we will get through this. There may be some big consequences but we will survive. Adapt. Because we have to.

And that's what we always do.

Stay safe and see you soon,



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