Relighting My Fire (Part 1/3)

*This was written in October and is a series of three blog posts that I am publishing together. The thoughts in these blog posts may not affect how I am feeling now and it is safe to say that I do feel mentally better than I once did.*

To be honest, this is the first time I've truly written something in months. It sucks. Like really sucks but I don't think that I can do it if I don't really love it.

So why now?

Well, somethings changed. I have that spark again. My fire has been relit. This feels good again.

Writing feels good again.

I think another reason was that I finally have the motivation to do it again. Not for anyone else but me. Because that is who I should write for.

Me.

Who you might be asking why I have been gone? Why have I not written anything in months?

Well, that's a hard question and all I can say is that it is complicated. I wasn't OK and I for the most part I am and when you feel like that writing something even a simple text can seem like climbing a mountain.

This doesn't feel like a mountain. Maybe a small hill but I kinda like it. I like writing and I like having written this.

I think one of the other reasons was I had loads of ideas but decided that I wouldn't write them down. They remained just distant memories in my brain. Parts that remained like capsules ready to be opened one day or forgotten to be opened although.

But it feels different now. I want to find them again. Write them down and never stop. Ready to rise for the pyre.

Like a Phoenix from the flames with there fire burning. Burning bright.